Last minute business trip, turned pleasure

In light of an ongoing battle to get a new Verizon phone (long story), a trip to Nashville, TN became necessary. Just under an hour away, it was borderline "too far to go for a day" with two nap-needing toddlers. But we're new to town and had never been to the famed Opryland Hotel so we decided to just go for it. Go for it we did and what fun we had!

This would be Charli, ready for adventure!

And Claire, who is always up for anything. And down with it all.

"Look, mom, a boat!" We ran around after that tour-boat for an hour. All four of us were mightily impressed by sheer size of it all. Not to mention the smells of spring and fresh food and the feel of tropical air. Now I can't wait to go back withOUT kids!

Taking it all in...

Um, yeah, that's my kid picking the decorative floating flowers out of the fountain pool.

Claire cannot wait to walk; it's torture for her to see the big sister running free and not being able to keep up.

Taking a breather,
watching the ducks...

I think this has to be where the term "lucky duck" was coined. Wow, talk about a life of luxury for those little quackers!

And off we go again!

The glass elevator ride was a BIG hit.

We were brave and took the girls to a fancy restaurant in the hotel. Crayons go a long way in keeping us all sitting nicely!

"Whatcha drawin' daddy?" She was extremely impressed with the cuteness of the house he drew just for her.

My littlest Love.

Silly times are never far off with this daddy and his girl.

Now, how on earth do we get out of here?...

My clowns at the circus

A few Saturdays ago we decided to check out the circus that was in town. It was no big-city Barnum and Bailey production, but it nevertheless successfully entertained our almost-1- and 2-year-old clowns. I'll try not to ruin the mood by mentioning the fire hazards and sardine-style bleacher-packing. All in all, it was a great time!

Claire and I waited and watched while Charli rode the ponies in the center (and only) ring.

She loved her $5 ride around the circle. All girl, she already has a thing for horses and she still talks about riding the "baby horsey."

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES..." Yup, she is mesmerized.

Family photo fail.

She wanted to sit by daddy. He had the cotton candy bag and willingly doles out more sugar than her momma. Lions and tigers and sugar - oh my!

Normal Nights

I am happy to announce that I have achieved yet another "normal" in life. Sure, we are in what we hope is a somewhat temporary situation (location- and work-wise) but the day-to-day of it all has resumed rhyme and reason. Micah's work schedule is mostly predictable, I am settling into the neighborhood (I haven't gotten myself lost in a month), the kitchen and I are slowly becoming friends (the smoke detector still screams daily but the end product is more than edible), and we are making friends and getting out more. And - my favorite part of every day - the evenings are chill. Nearly a year after our deployment (I say "our" because it affected each of us in a big way) and I can say that Micah and I know our girls equally well. It's huge to know we both have a good read on their needs and moods and how to deal with those things.

So Micah gets home around 5ish. Charli has helped me make dinner and Claire has successfully emptied the silverware drawer of every last spoon. Claire sits and grins at her daddy with an almost worshipful gaze when he walks in and Charli's first words to him are "want to build a BIG tower, daddy?" and "want to try something NEW?!" And so they do. Every day. While I pour the ice water and scrape the burnt edges off the main course on its way to the table.

After dinner all 4 of us end up on the livingroom floor for blocks and books and, lately, "Yimpics". Speed skating is our favorite. Charli chants, "Let's go, Uh-0h, let's go" in support of the speedy Apollo Ohno.

We laugh together and tell stories. And sometimes our tired eyes glance at the clock in anticipation of bedtime, but all the while it feels GOOD to have a normal. *sigh*

Me, the Swinger

Generally, I'm "emotional" only in that I feel strongly and deeply about certain things, but not in the sense of wildly swinging feelings from week to week. Like how I felt a week ago compared to now. It was my first week back from the 7 weeks I spent with family in Michigan and here's what I had to say...

"I can't lie. It's been a tough week, but I was totally expecting that. We returned to Kentucky this week and I'm adjusting (slowly) to being the sole caregiver/entertainer of the little girls during the day again. That's not really the hard part for me though; it's not having a schedule of any kind. It was easy to get into a routine of basketball games, mall-ing with friends, and a handful of playdates each week. So this week, in Kentucky, we've gotten creative with our extra hours.

I weeded through all of our toys and made a pile of the ones we've out-grown and researched a children's ministry where I'll be dropping them off next week.

All of the girls clothes are now unpacked and sorted into "keep" and "give" categories and by seasons in the dressers/closets.

4 Valentines were made for our families in Michigan. (Dreading the post office trip though; it's a small-town friendly place down here but it takes FOREVER to get through the line.)

We've been eating Paleo dinners this week, so cooking by those rules has been an experience in itself.

The living room has been re-arranged for no good reason. Unless you count an effective time-killer when the weather outside is lousy as a good reason.

Due to our new Paleo lifestyle, we had extra bread on hand. So the girls and I have trekked out several times to the "Duck Path" where the Mallards are always glad to see us coming with a gluten treat.

Ceiling-to-carpet cleaning: check.

And of course there's always laundry, Legos, and library books when I can't find more productive things to do. I am realizing I need to make a conscious effort to..."

And that's where my journaling trailed off as I drew a blank on where my efforts should lead. Or whether I had the mental energy to jumpstart an effort in the first place. During that time I was told that I was "like the least likely person to ever get depressed." Huh, weird. I thought, If this isn't depressed I don't want to know what is.

That was then. I am now glad to report I am coming out of the most recent week a content wife and mom and woman. The days are once again flowing naturally from one to the next and household strife has been minimal. Actually it's been the best week I've had in almost a year. I love my husband more than ever and our little ladies are thriving. This townhouse feels like home. I finally have my own car again. But the biggest change was the improvement in my own head; my mood swung low and leveled out in a high, happy place. (No, I'm not on drugs!)

How It Shouldn't Be

Long-distance relationships. I'm "good" at them I guess, but that doesn't mean I like them that way. I miss my husband, soldier, friend.

A Quick Look Back, And Hope For Tomorrow

Looking back, 2009 seems like the year that lasted longer than a year. Everything that happened...no way it could only have taken 365 days. My precious Claire was born. Micah missed it, but returned from Iraq/war three months later. Frantic job search. Deep soul search. Whirlwind reunion summer. Joy in finding work; sorrow in another goodbye. Learning the rental process from every angle. Evaluations and re-evaluations. Move to Kentucky; more goodbyes. Learn to be a family again; more joy. Holiday homecoming. More questions. Abundant love.

Talking. Growing. Faith. Doubt. Joy. Children. Sadness. Chaos. Boredom. Weakness. Love. Overcoming. Relationships. God. Never. Fails.

This is what always happens when I consciously slow down in order to think about this last year or so. My brain starts off just fine, in Full-Sentence Mode if you will. Before long it deteriorates into fragments, then single words, sometimes completely unrelated thoughts. 2009 was unquestionably the fullest year of my 25-year existence thus far. And any attempt at a simple recap is doomed because I can't, for the life of me, even pick a general feeling to describe it. The greatest highs and deepest lows found their way into me and without such a faithful God, loving husband, and supportive family, it could have been very wearing. But I am loved, cared-for, and listened to, and thus feel exceedingly blessed. I wouldn't wish to re-live last year, but I am grateful for it and wouldn't give it back.

It is safe to say that '09 was a blessed year. I realized the love present in my marriage like I never have before; through thick and thin we went, and loved. It brings me endless joy to watch our children grow up with health and brightness and hilarity in their every development. My girls are my treasures. Every one of my needs were met. I grew closer to several of my favorite friends. There were opportunities for fun and for stretching. I learned so much. Like to not only seek wisdom and guidance in many directions, but to filter it appropriately. And to fight for what is important to me and best for those I love most, even at the risk of hurt feelings or disapproval along the way.

My biggest and favorite lesson/realization of the year: I have a significant yet oh-so-tiny place in the great scheme of things. God is God and I am not. As all-important as life (or money, loneliness, doubt, future-planning, arguments, child-raising, etc.) can seem, there is so much more that is going on in God's creation and his plan for redemption. So much more and so much bigger. Bigger than me. I have a place, but it isn't about me. Thank you, Lord, for that!

And so, going into 2010, I hope to grow in awareness of my relationship to things in this life and with God. I will strive to grow in grace by submitting my cares more fully to Him. Each day, I will begin with "Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is heaven." And I will make an effort to be more aware (globally and in my own home) of how heaven is being brought to earth.

And so on we go, armed with the experiences from the past year, boldly into the next. Full of hope, arm-in-arm with fellow life-travelers, confident in the One we follow. Happy New Year!

A new dryer? Yippee!

Ah yes, I have a thing for Anne Taintor. The sarcastic humor of that woman who takes authentic advertisements from the 40's and 50's and pairs them with today's sensibility always makes me laugh. In all seriousness, I often find myself caught in the very irony she relies on for her humor. I possess a bachelor's degree and have the experience of a professional RN, yet my life for the last two years has revolved around babies and home-making. There is nothing I want to change about the current course my life is taking, but I'm still in disbelief sometimes when I find myself getting excited about a new appliance or when I don't think twice about boogers smearing on my shoulder. When did this happen?! Morning til night is about kids, housework, and husband. I love it all and cherish every minute with my funny family. But my ambitious and determined alter-ego sometimes shows up and has to point and chuckle at the June Cleaver side of me. That's okay though. One request: allow me to point and laugh at my life - it doesn't mean I am bitter or dissatisfied. Just amused.